Well, I took my girl to a party and we had ourselves a pretty good time.
Saw the crew and we drank some brew, but somebody got out of line.
He was hitting on my girl, trying to get her into bed,
so I tapped him on the shoulder and this is what I said.

Don't be a dick, cu-cu-cachoo
what did I ever do to you,
You're attitude it really makes me sick
Well, I've been nothing but nice,
but I guess I'll say it twice
If you wanna chill tonite, don't be a dick

Well, I got a big surprise, it's not always just the guys
Some girls steal your heart, just to cut you down to size
now, I don't mean all female, but some are just plain bad
for the bitch, the best advice you ever had

Be kind to fellow man, we're all doing the best that we can
Follow you're heart, try to do the right thing
Don't be a dick, be a decent human being

So next time your pulled over by a cop out on the road
Remember the advice, that your Uncle Stickman told,
now, compiment his uniform, his badge and hat and tie
If he still gives you a ticket, than look him in the eye
and say